The TakeAway

Ephesians 6:1-4 The Inward Relationship

Pastor Harry Behrens Season 2 Episode 16

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How does honoring your parents glorify God and lead to a more joyful life? Join us on "The Takeaway" as Pastor Harry Behrens unpacks the profound insights of Ephesians 6:1-4, shedding light on the biblical mandate for children to obey their parents. You'll discover how this act not only pleases God but also fosters a fuller, more satisfying life. We unravel the crucial role fathers play as reflections of God the Father, emphasizing the need to nurture children without provoking anger, all while guiding them toward a life of obedience and prosperity. With key scriptures like Proverbs 22:6 and 2 Corinthians 1:20-22, we delve into God’s promises and the pivotal role of parental guidance in leading children to Christ.

In addition, we dive into Jesus' teachings on the power of asking in His name, focusing on aligning our requests with God's glory rather than personal gain. Using scriptures from John 14 and Mark 12, we highlight the importance of grounding the church in God's word and loving both God and our neighbors. This episode also covers the Holy Spirit's role as our advocate, the significance of Jesus' humility and obedience, and His exaltation in heaven. Wrap up with a preview of our next episode on effective gospel sharing, and don't forget to send us your feedback and questions to help shape our future content. Tune in to use this podcast as a powerful resource to illuminate your spiritual journey.

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Please visit www.chosenbydesign.net for more information on Pastor Harry’s new book, "Chosen By Design - God’s Purpose for Your Life."

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Hello, welcome again to the Takeaway. I'm your host, pastor Harry Behrens, and in today's episode we're going to be studying Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 to 4, the parent-child relationship. Before we begin, I want to invite you to share any questions you may have by using the Text Us link in the episode description, as your input is invaluable in shaping future episodes. Here at the Takeaway, we are committed to creating content that supports your spiritual growth, and we can only do that with your feedback, so please let us know your thoughts, as we would love to hear from you. So now getting started. In our last episode, we talked about how the marriage relationship is meant to glorify God by how the wife submits to the husband as the church submits to Jesus, and how the husband sacrifices for the wife just as Jesus sacrificed for his bride, the church. When we operate like this in the marriage, it becomes a witness to the world that we love each other and God. It's important to realize that all our relationships in some way glorify God when our motive is correct. When asking people what they care or are passionate about, you will often get the answer it's family. But that doesn't describe the motive or why that is. They will tell you they love them or are passionate about caring for them and making them happy, but why? When we evaluate the motive, we see that it could be for the self-gratification that providing for them makes you happy. I don't think most people think beyond that aspect. Maybe they see it as a sense of duty or obligation. Then they extract what joy they can from it. However, when these are the motives, we rob ourselves of God's greater joy for us. When these are the motives we rob ourselves of God's greater joy for us, when we shift the motive from any of these that I just named to the motive of glorifying God as the primary reason, we will have a fuller joy. That doesn't come from our experience with family, but from God himself. The reason is that we do what we do to glorify Him, for no other reason. The benefit will be that your wife, your husband, children will all be cared for well, happy and satisfied in you, as you will find that you become satisfied in God.

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Most of the issues within our relationships come from unmet expectations that we apply to people, and this creates a tension that cripples us. When we place the expectation on God to fulfill His promises toward us, as we glorify Him, we will release anyone else of our expectations because we are no longer looking to get something from them. Instead, we are looking for our joy and satisfaction to come from God Himself. That might seem like a stretch for some people, as most of us have been taught not to expect anything from God and that we should sacrifice ourselves for him, as we don't deserve any more than what we get. But that does not capture God's heart as a giver, as what he primarily wants to give is himself. What he primarily wants to give is himself. When we deny God of this, we are in turn robbing him of his glory. John Piper said it best God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. God wants us to be satisfied in him, and that satisfaction can be produced in all of our relationships.

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The marriage relationship is the primary one, but, as we will now see, the parent-child relationship has its place in glorifying God as well. So the parent-child relationship this is a picture of our position before God, the Father in Heaven. Fathers must realize they are supposed to be a representative or a reflection of the Father in heaven towards their children. This relationship is one of, if not the most, impactful in leading a child to Christ. Children look to their fathers as the ultimate example of moral living, and they imitate this on many levels. We see it all the time in our society, and we can often gauge parents by their children's behavior. When we lead our children astray, we in turn rob them of the promises that God has for them, which are prosperity and long life. Just as we receive the assurance of salvation and our obedience to God, the child receives the promise of long life and prosperity and obedience to the parent, which will lead to obedience to the Lord as long as the father does not provoke his children to anger.

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Proverbs 22, verse 6. Train up a child in the way that he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. 2 Corinthians 1, verse 20 to 22. For all the promises of God find their yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our amen to God for His glory. And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us, and who has also put His seal on us and given us His Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.

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Now, continuing with the idea that we are to be imitators of Christ. We now look at the child-parent relationship presented by Paul in Ephesians 6, verses 1-4. Honor your father and your mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now that promise is from the sixth commandment written by God in Exodus, chapter 20, verse 12. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land and that the Lord, your God, is giving you. Matthew, chapter 18, verses 1 to 6. Who is the greatest?

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At that time, the disciples came to Jesus saying who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And calling to him a child. He put him in the midst of them and said Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like a children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me. But whoever causes listen to this whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. The Lord Jesus.

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He takes this relationship extremely seriously, because children are vulnerable and easily manipulated. Parents have the highest level of influence on their children and God designed it this way so that we would train them up properly. He says it would be better for a millstone to be tied around our necks and thrown into the sea when we don't. That's a pretty harsh statement and since it is coming from Jesus, we can assume that he is taking this topic seriously. To say that drowning in the depths of the sea would be better and since it is coming from Jesus, we can assume that he is taking this topic seriously To say that drowning in the depths of the sea would be better is indicating to us the severity of God's wrath that will come upon us for leading children into sin. So instead, we are to use our influence over our children to lead them to Jesus and train them up in God's word so that they will never depart from the faith. In turn, when the children are obedient to their parents, they have a promise from God that he will give them a long life and prosper them. This relationship is another example of the Lord's submission to the Father and should be modeled on our part as well. John 14, verse 31,. But I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. And John 12, verse 50 says and I know that His commandment is eternal life.

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Jesus opened a way for us to have a relationship with the Father, just as he did In Ephesians, chapter 5,. We are told to imitate God. The parent-child relationship is another way we can do that. So what does a healthy father-son relationship look like? We have two ways to look at this. The one perspective is our relationship with God as the child, and the other perspective is our relationship with our children as the parent. Now, we can't be an example if we don't have a healthy relationship with God to start with. We must understand this relationship, to imitate God, so that our children will see him when they see us, just as we see the Father when we see Jesus. The question is have we known Him or do we know Him? We will briefly examine John, chapter 14 to try and capture the perspective Jesus gave us.

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I can't stress enough how important it is that we understand how God loves us so that we can imitate Him. You know, throughout my years as a parent, I looked to my Father in heaven as an example when disciplining my children, for example. When my years as a parent, I look to my father in heaven as an example when disciplining my children, for example, when they did something wrong, I would do my best not to react to the situation out of anger. Instead, I would do as my father has done for me I would be patient with them and ask them if they understood what they did. We would discuss the situation and then I would make them aware that they had to walk through the repercussions of their actions, which could have been any number of things based on what they did. Then I would tell them that I wouldn't fix the problem, but I would walk with them through it, that I would not leave them nor forsake them. My boys would always feel the weight of dealing with these repercussions, whether it be asking for forgiveness, giving back something they took or paying for something they broke. I always ensured they felt the full weight of their sin by walking through the repercussions and not rescuing or fixing it for them. But I also ensured they felt my love for them by walking with them through the situation. They knew they would never be abandoned and left alone to figure it out themselves. They always had me to look to, so they knew what to do next or to explain why these were the repercussions.

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I never allowed my anger to be the motivator. Instead, I tried to let my love for them be the driving force, as I wanted them to see that how I was treating them was how God had treated me. God never came down out of heaven and slapped me in the face or hollered at me, but his words reminded me that he was slow to anger, quick to forgive and required me to deal with the repercussions of my actions. I was always to ask for forgiveness and restore whatever needed to be restored, above and beyond what was lost or destroyed in the first place. Because of this, my boys grew up knowing I loved them and meant business when restoring what was destroyed. They knew that they never had to go at it alone and that I would guide them through the steps to make these things right.

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Another advantage of disciplining like this is that it ensures proper justice. That means that when my boys asked for forgiveness and tried to restore what was lost, the other party that was wronged couldn't unjustly attack them, require more from them than what was required or take revenge on them by my presence. They knew as well as the people they wronged that they couldn't do anything that wasn't morally proper. Had my boys stepped out of line, I was there to correct them and ensure they did the right thing. Had the people they wronged step out of line, I was there to protect my boys with all my strength. That ensured justice was done and that they felt loved while being disciplined. That is precisely how our Father in heaven has dealt with us and requires us to be that example to our children. Being a parent is a great responsibility and privilege, and we should desire the best for our kids.

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The only way we could do that is to know the Father ourselves, just as Jesus has shown us in John chapter 14, verses 7 to 14. Jesus has shown us in John chapter 14, verses 7 to 14. If you really know me, you will know my father as well From now on. You do know him and have seen him. And Philip said Lord, show us the father, that will be enough for us. And Jesus answered don't you know me, philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say show us the Father. Don't you believe that I am in the Father and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you, I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father living in me who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father living in me who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father and I will do whatever you ask in my name so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

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Here he is talking about spiritual works, not physical miracles like he did. The idea is that more will come to Jesus and be saved through the church than through his worldly ministry. We are his body and the Father's spirit is in us, like it was in him when we are born again and filled with his spirit. The spirit reveals the Father and his will, which is to save this lost world by inviting them through the preaching of the gospel by the church. In verse 13, we see Jesus said that we could ask for anything in his name and that he would do it.

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Many believers have taken this scripture out of context and applied it completely wrong. They think that because they end each prayer with in the name of Jesus, it automatically implies he will do it. They don't realize that Jesus didn't implies he will do it. They don't realize that Jesus didn't say he would do anything that they ask, period. He said he would do anything. They asked to glorify the Father in the Son. Our motive needs to be one that desires to glorify God, and then Jesus will give us whatever we ask. That, however, is rarely the case and the reason we see powerless churches all around. They have no idea what it means to glorify God because they aren't grounded in the truth of his word, which tells us what his will is and what exactly it is that glorifies him. We aren't to decide for ourselves what we think will glorify God. We are to know based on what he has told us in his word. So what is it that glorifies God?

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John, chapter 14, verses 15 to 21. If you love me, keep my commands and I will ask the father and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever the spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you. Before long the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me because I live. You also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.

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So it's not a matter of obligation but should be one of desire, like my example earlier with my children, they followed my commands to repent and to restore and, as a result, they glorified me. They listened to me out of love and trust, so that I could do the right thing for them. You could argue that they were obligated to do these things. But as they learned that my heart was for them continually and it was good, they shifted from obligation to desire. Now, of course, we all start with commands as something we are obligated to do. But in time, as we learn about the one who gave the commands and why he did, we learn to love the command giver and start to desire his commands, because they bring us life and are not distractions. They make right what we did wrong and restore what we lost. That's what God's commands do and we should desire them.

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Mark, chapter 12, verses 30 to 31. And you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these. John 14, 22.

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Then Judas, not Iscariot, said they thought the Messiah was coming to reveal himself to the whole world and conquer. Judas couldn't understand this yet, as Jesus was only coming for his own which the Father had given him. As Jesus was only coming for his own which the Father had given him. We were given to him before the foundations of the world and he was coming to redeem us to himself, as the Father commanded. John 14, 23-24,.

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Jesus replied Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey loved us. 1 John 4, 19. Jesus told us we had heard and known of the Father that was the Father's plan, that they would make their home with us and that we would be the temple of God. 1 Corinthians 3.16. Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? And John 14.25-28. All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything that I have said. Peace, I leave you with my peace. I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. I do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. You heard me say I am going away and I'm coming back to you.

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Jesus is returning to the Father, where he is equal to, not less than, the Father. In the flesh he humbled himself and became less than the Father to accomplish his will, but in heaven he is seated with the Father. Philippians 2, verses 7 to 10. But made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a servant and was made in the likeness of men and being found in fashion as a man. He humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross, wherefore God also has highly exalted him and given him a name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow of things in heaven and things in earth and the things under the earth.

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Jesus then said in John 14, 29-31, I have told you now, before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. I will not say much more to you, for the Prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me. We are as little children before the Father in heaven. The adversary, the devil, comes at us and is allowed, so that the world will know that we love the Father when we do exactly what he tells us to out of love through our suffering. It shows the world and ourselves that we have genuine love for God. We don't strive to be obedient children. We are obedient because we love him and we love him because he first loved us. Obedient because we love him and we love him because he first loved us. That is how we imitate God by loving others as we love him and he loves us.

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To love others this way, you must know the Father and understand his love for you, how he has loved you and the impact that it has made on you. We must all experience God's love for us in a real way, beyond intellectual knowledge, as knowledge itself doesn't produce a relationship. It just allows us to know the one who is inviting us into the relationship and tells us how to have that relationship. It requires us to take a step of faith, to walk in the knowledge he has given us and apply it so that our relationship becomes real. Could you imagine knowing about your spouse and all their desires and yet never meeting them? To be told we have been bought with a great price, saved from our sin, and never meet the one who paid the price, would be sad. The Bible introduces us to him and prepares us to walk by faith and meet him. It won't be until you meet the living God in a way that brings you to your knees, that you will be changed.

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Paul had this experience on the road to Damascus, and the disciples had it when he showed himself to them, risen from the dead. The question is have you met him? Do you desire to meet him? Or are you like the Israelites who told Moses you go up on the mountain and meet God, because they were afraid? God is inviting each one of us into his presence. We just have to step into it. So what are you waiting for? Let's pray.

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Father, thank you so much for your word today. I thank you for the model that you have given us of the parent-child relationship through you and Jesus, and that you are inviting us into that relationship, that you desire it, that you desire for us to know you the way Jesus knew you, and that we would glorify you as a child glorifies their parents when they act accordingly Because, as children, their parents when they act accordingly Because, as children, we are an example of who our parents are. Father, you are calling us to be that example for you, that we would resemble you and, in turn, glorify you. God, jesus, I thank you that you gave us the ability to ask for anything in your name that we can live a life that models that, that makes it possible for us to do that when we can't do it in ourselves. So thank you for giving us a way. We love you and we thank you in your precious name, jesus, amen. Now I want to thank you for joining us today, and I hope this message helped you take a step closer in your relationship with Jesus and that you have a better understanding of just how much God loves you and wants you to know him.

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In our next episode we're going to look at the master-servant relationship and how this relates to us in the workplace. This is the last area of life anyone wants to be in, let alone be an example for Christ in. Most of us just want to go in and do our nine-to-five and go home. We see our jobs as a means to provide for our needs and wants, but God wants us to see it as a mission field. This is an environment that has the potential to be an effective and fruitful mission field if we would just allow God to work in us and through us. Instead, we tend to fight God and suppress the truth because of fear or selfishness, when we should realize that we are all called to ministry and that the workplace is not only a mission field that is ripe for the picking, but that God placed you there specifically for that and is providing for you through it.

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At the same time, we are to be a people that share the gospel in all areas of life, and in our next episode, we will discuss just how to do that in an effective, god-glorifying way. Now, before we go, I want to encourage you to send us a text message from the link provided in the description of this episode. We would love to hear your feedback and questions you may have from today's show, as it helps us produce future episodes that are beneficial to you. In addition, please feel free to use this podcast as a resource to help others and shine a light into the darkness. God bless, and we'll see you next time on the Takeaway.